"No, Preeti, it will not happen.  I have taken all the care in the world to make sure you do only those exercise which keep your arms this delicate, always."

"Oh, thanks Rosh...I always knew I could count on your advice.  You really are one of those gentle giants... the kind women fall for." 

And she would move a millimetre or so, closer.  Now, this is the most dangerous moment in a man's life.  Ask him to meet raging bulls head on or dive into a pool full of piranhas or jump inside a lion cage and pull its tail while it is gobbling up its dinner, he will do so without hesitation. Ask him to turn around, like Rosh had to turn around, and look at a girl in the eye and stay there without shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm is asking him to do the impossible.  And yet, this was what Rosh had to do, turn around, look at the girl in the eye and not shake like this particular leaf that shakes its hips everytime she hears the word thunderstorm. 

I happen to be one of the seasoned campaigners who had gone through worse in life and lived to tell the tale. You know... one of those guys who could turn around, look a pretty girl in the eye and not shake like this silly leaf I told you about.  There are two ways of doing this.  You had to clinically analyse why a leaf shook in a thunderstorm.  I found the leaf's absolute lack of body weight being the reason for shaking so violently.  In such situations, I always lifted something heavy and attached myself to it like an adhesive tape so that the heavy object would clamp down on all vigorous vibrations of the body.  Another way was to suck in a gallon or two, more if you can, of the available air around you and hold the bally gas in you.  This will also pin you to the ground.

Rosh's only option was to suck in and deprive the neighbourhood of all available oxygen.  He grew about three inches sideways, before he looked at Preeti in the eye, as he was supposed to do. He had to take immense care not to knock Preeti down on the way to getting bigger as she was standing very very close.  In fact, she stood so close to him that if she moved any closer, she would end up being on the other side of Rosh.  Taking most care not let out an ounce of gas, he cooed again,

"Geee, Pranks Theeti.....er..ahh...I mean.....thanks Preeti."

Now, this intimacy did not go unnoticed in the gym.  The thing with boys, especially those aspiring to be big and muscular is that they simply assume that every beautiful girl who just as much as looked at them invariably fell in love with them too.  And every single laddie in the gym thought that Preeti was his and considered it a real monkey business if someone just as much as glanced at her.  The thing with this business of being a monkey is that you consider it a sin to monkey with another monkey's monkey.

One of the monkeys to voice his dissent was none other than the other trainer, Jay.  Jay was bigger, taller and considered it impudence on the part of Rosh to have gone the distance with Preeti.  Now, it was his turn to shake like a leaf in a thunderstorm.  He shook very differently from the other leaf of which I mentioned, and it was obvious that lifting weights or sucking in air was not going to pin him down. 

"What do you think you are doing, Rosh?"

“What do you think I was doing, Jay?"

Rosh was not about to back down and if he purred like the well-oiled engine of a Royal Enfield bike earlier, he shook like the bike that developed engine trouble all of a sudden, now. 

"Hey, cut it out," I jumped in between these two Himalayas of muscles. 

This couldn’t go on forever.  I had to stop these mountains of muscles from fighting with each other.  I couldn’t fire them, because they were good trainers and the boys liked them a lot.  But on the other side, if I let it go unchecked, it might prove to be the funeral of one of the trainers.  I fervently wished something would happen that would shape up things for the better. 

And then, it happened.  

To be continued...

Venugopal Unnikrishnan